It was July 17, 2008, an otherwise uneventful day at St Vincent DePaul Mission at 19 Jacobs Street in Bristol, Connecticut. It was not without great meaning for John, however. That day John moved out from an apartment he shared with a friend. He had lost his job, his finances were non-existent and there were no lifelines left.
John had just become homeless. He found himself looking for shelter in every sense of the word. And as nearly 300 individuals in the Bristol area do, each year, he found it at the St Vincent DePaul Mission of Bristol Homeless Shelter.
There John found much more than a bed, daily meals, and case management services. John found himself. He rediscovered his self-esteem. John found his life at SVDP.
While at the shelter, each resident is required to do four hours per week of shelter service. Evening chores are part of each resident’s routine as well. John never complained when he was asked to sweep the floor, clean the bathrooms, and wash and fold laundry, tasks that even other shelter residents sometimes grumbled about.
The self-esteem which was nearly non-existent on that mid-July afternoon began to increase. His case manager and staff at SVDP provided John with the daily encouragement to keep moving forward. He surrounded himself with people who created a positive influence in his life, and did not judge him for any past missteps. He was also able to maintain his sobriety by attending regular AA meetings. Even applying for employment did not wear him down any longer.
John stayed the course, as he put it, and finally landed a job in a clothing store. He went to work every day, dedicating himself to his new job. He worked hard, made good decisions, and even began to save money. Three months after being hired, John received a promotion. An apartment close to work in a desirable part of town followed.
Through the support of St Vincent DePaul Mission, John had finally made it back.
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(Not everyone who seeks shelter at St Vincent DePaul Mission is as successful as John. It is unrealistic to think that could happen to everyone. John however was different. SVDP is grateful for the continued community support it receives each year from everyone. It allows us to offer our services and increases the possibility that additional success stories like John’s will be written again)
A formerly homeless person shares the following story with us.
“When it came to drugs and alcohol, I had no choice, it always came first. I hated it but I couldn’t stop. I basically was living on the streets while family members cared for my children. In actuality, the State took them from me and placed them in my family’s homes. The boys were separated many times being shared by family members. They also lived with their father for a short time.
My youngest son called me from a shelter for teenage runaways. He told me he ran away from his father’s. He was tired of dad beating him up. I have two other boys who were 17 and 18 at the time who at this point had their own apartment.
When I heard the pain in my son’s voice I knew something had to change. I loved my sons so much yet each time I wanted to get away from the drugs I couldn’t. How can this be? How could a mother of three choose the drugs over her precious boys?
I remembered there was a shelter in Bristol and so I thought, maybe my youngest son and I could move in there and I could try and get my act together. (While at the SVDP Women’s TLP), I started a part time job and went to school on a part time basis. I walked to work and school every day, rain, sleet, snow, etc. I kept going because I knew there was something better for me out in the world.
I worked this part time job for approximately a year and then came across another job opportunity by chance. I was told prior to the interview (by staff) to just play the part during the interview. You see I didn’t think I deserved any status in the world, but I went for it any way. I got the job.
After a year, my son and I were ready to move from the shelter. I was so afraid mainly because St. Vincent’s was a place that I felt safe for the first time in my life. Staff reassured me that they would still be there and to stay in touch with them.
I was about 1 ½ years sober when I received a phone call from my oldest son’s girlfriend. She said he had a grand mall seizure and almost died. He was living in New Jersey at the time. I went numb. The pain in my heart was excruciating. I went to New Jersey that morning. My son, Jim, had a tumor in his brain which was causing the seizures. He was scheduled for surgery.
In the hospital, while waiting for Jim to be prepped, he grabbed my hand and said, “Mom I want you to know how proud I am of you. I know you did it this time and I love you.” The look in his eyes was full of love and I just wanted to hold him and not let go. That was the gift I gave my son that day. All he wanted was a sober mom and he got it.
I had to say goodbye to my son that morning ( surgery was not successful ). The pain was indescribable. I hurt so much that my body ached all over. I thought I was going to die, but I also had other family that were hurting as well. We came together, held each other and cried. At the wake, St. Vincent De Paul’s staff came and cried right along side of me.
Now one might think that would be enough to go back out and drink, but the shelter along with a 12 step program taught me otherwise. I learned that my son would have passed no matter what I was doing so a drink would not change the fact that he was gone. I also knew that because of the help I received, I was able to give my son the one thing he wanted most and that was a sober mom. I continued on and believe me it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I had support, much of which came from the shelter”.
The St Vincent DePaul Mission of Bristol operates three programs in Bristol: the Homeless Shelter, the Elms Transitional Living Program (TLP), and the Woman With Children TLP. An average of 350 men, women and children live in the three programs each year. Not all people achieve the degree of success as the “formerly homeless woman”, but most experience the safe environment and begin to make changes that move them to independent living.